Saturday, 9 April 2011

這十個月

對上一次到這個BLOG告訴將來的我自己已經有十個月了。

當初有這個BLOG的原因是因為當時強迫自己暫離facebook
但過去十個月無到過這個BLOG的原因卻多了:除了回到facebook之外,上年九月時發生出生以來令我最慌張的事、慌張的事過了以後太忙了、現在要顧要煩的也是前所未有過。還有我意識到我想表達的或許有點太私人了。(所以能讀到的人也不多)

忙的程度到了我有時間去了一趟旅行也沒有心情可以記下那趟旅程的感覺,這是我最喜歡做的,所以感到遺憾的。

旅程完了,應覺尤在。但時間一久了,感覺順應給沖淡也是理所當然。就是這樣,寶貴的親身感受開始流走了,給留下來的只有遺憾感覺慢慢增長。可能是我誇張了,但在目前的人生裡,我珍惜的就只有這些不真實的感覺和回憶。事出必有因,我平日有的行為,現在告訴你我的感覺可以解釋一些。有興趣的可以看下去;沒有的話,那便是我廢話多了。

上星期,有個曾經會分享很多,現在雖不多交流但仍要好的朋友跟我聯絡上。電話裡頭的她,是經歷多了但矛盾的,對人生充滿希望但膽小的。或者我們都害怕被別人忘記,所以不經意地做了很多很多有機會証明自己存在過的證據。但當你知道重質的重要時,也不要忘記量的必要;我要說的是,假如你要花時間去令你相識已久的朋友們想著你,不如你去新的天地令更多的人們認識你。之後可能你會發現過去你認為極為重要的某人和某事只是一堆會令你發笑的美好回憶,重要與否在當下很難分曉。就如我上面說過,如果沒做記錄情況底下回憶流走,遺憾存活下來,與人無尤。但無論情況是這或是那,你也是要活下去,所以‘量’會令你明白‘質’的質素。假若機會你真的得到了,就記得要和你的空空的行李箱去帶更多的‘量’回來,無謂的憂慮就讓它留下來因為疏忽照顧而餓死吧。回來以後跟我分享你擠滿‘量’行李箱,再告訴我哪些才是‘質’。然後你會發現你餓死了的憂慮不見了,過去暫時放下的時空煥然一新,你的人生又充滿了挑戰。

人是自私的,我還是說說自己好了。這十個月來,我其中一件發現自己的是 ﹣我很自私。一個和藹可親的朋友都當頭棒喝的說我是個自私鬼。話語間表明我這個人從不滿足、得一想二、得寸進尺。不認不認還須認,我很自私。但我身邊有個(或多個)朋友有自己事情要處理解決的情況底下仍然接受有多自私霸道任性易怒的我,如果這不是我多世修來的福氣的話,那他們一定是前世欠下我很多的自私人。

續》

現在正在觀看的是 ﹣電影《小親親》,經典。

Wednesday, 30 June 2010

I nearly forgot I don't belong to here.
So close.

Tuesday, 8 June 2010

Want a laugh before starting a day, watch this!

Officially "Thank you" to you guys


I am thankful to those facebook wall greetings, facebook messages, and mobile texts, as well as these cards and presents.


I love what my dad wrote to me: "to be patient", just that, not "happy birthday".
And the one who sent me that postcard on the right willingly forgot my birthday, bless her.




Thanks you, I always love G.O.D.
I got nothing to say to you too.




The crazy bitch..



I love this guy who accidentally remembers I love cream soda
(or does he accidentally?)
and he found a book which I should obey to.



And you, last but not least, I don't know what to say.
I was eating the honey candy straight away once I saw them,
reading what you say, I really feel it,
and those words are what I need.
Thank you.
(By the way, I hope what you sent is legal)



Monday, 7 June 2010

When I finished THE LITTLE PRINCE, I wailed.
I am in the middle of THE LITTLE PRINCE, giggling.

Saturday, 5 June 2010

Back to those days with no FACEBOOK

I am still "friend" of yours, my friends. I just deactivated my facebook doesn't mean we are not friends.

Facebook's virus spread throughout the world, I caught that since summer 2007, time flies, it's been almost three years now, yet I never had a thought of getting rid of it (not even when I was dealing with my Alevels exams), but now, out of a sudden, I deactivated it.

There's no such thing as sudden I suppose, I think there are reasons, but a combination of few things this time, facebook is just evil, revision, the enthusiasm is fading out, getting bored of its functions, and sick of its format. It reflects me somehow, in a way that towards life: once I lost interest on a thing, a trend, or someone, I would not even look back.

So now I am experiencing life with no facebook, there is a question comes along with this, do we really need facebook? There are certain people I can only contact through facebook I admit, other than that may be I was just sharing my experiences and encounters to those I really care, but now, it seems like there is no need. For those who really care about me, I would come to them, or they would come to me. Maybe I really don't need to "insert" my personal experience into people's minds as I wanted to, because it turns out could be pointless.

Besides, blogging is for the brave ones, although I left xanga behind ages ago. So here, another way to keep in touch my friends. I'll come back to facebook though, yea, forget what I said in this post.

Thursday, 27 May 2010

What is important to you?
Surely I don't know.
What is important to myself then?
I don't know,


but... apparently what is important to me is different from what is important to you.

Sunday, 23 May 2010

Kings Of Convenience - Misread


If you wanna be my friend, you want us to get along.

Please do not expect me to wrap it up and keep it there

The observation I am doing could easily be understood

As cynical demeanour, but one of us misread...

And what do you know, It happened again.


A friend is not a means you utilize to get somewhere

Somehow I didn't notice friendship is an end

What do you know. It happened again.


How come no-one told me all throughout history,

The loneliest people were the ones who always spoke the truth,

the ones who made a difference by withstanding the indifference

I guess it's up to me now, should I take that risk or just smile?


What do you know, It happened again.

What do you know?



"You know, they say the meaning of the song is the meaning to you. To me its not about a girlfriend neccessarily, it's about relationships with people in general. The person this song is about is a very honest and up front person. He has a habit of picking out peoples flaws and letting them know about it with honest intentions, but the other person gets hurt and misunderstands his intentions of trying to be the best friend you'll ever meet. A friend that will be brutally honest simply because of the fact that he wants to make you an even better person. Long story short, he burns a bridge because the other person doesn't get it." One says.



I agree.


Monday, 19 April 2010

Watching three movies in a row is not easy.


There is a line between something actually happened and something actually happened but you don't know it; seconds later moral issues take place in our little brains. In the movie of Three Colours : Red, it explains a bit, it would be all good if you do not know anything, everything is fine until you started to know more or accidentally you just knew it(doesn't matter if the thing directly happened to you, or even none of your business), how you react to it becomes an interruption to you, does it bother you? No matter what you do(or don't do), you will be doing it for your sake. If your "value" tells you the truth is "wrong", would you try to fix it? Oh, it is then because if you don't do anything, you would feel guilty about not doing anything, but if you try to do something(to make yourself feel better), don't you worry you would affect, break or destroy something beyond the matter? It is hard and huge to break the "norm" of relationships, people's lives, and societies. So you better not doing anything, be quiet, keep things to yourself, your thinkings and feelings would eventually get corrupted and corroded, and there you go, you become just one of "them", "they" make our society, "they" are normal, and "they" are people.


After all, if you feel nothing about what I talk about here, it's simply because either/both my English is really bad, or/and you are a selfish person.